#151
Mutley would be proud
Date: 08/30/2001
From: h_wood
Here's the deal with me & Wacky Races:
I'm going out of town this weekend, and won't be back until monday night. So, since I'll probably be left at the starting gate anyway, I might as well take the slowest vehicle. Therefore, Megaweapon, I choose you! Don't worry gang, I'll try to catch myself up to speed when I get back.
h_wood
"Yes! Make it sloooooooooooow, Megaweapon!"
#152
{Enters the room with his dune buggy}
Date: 08/30/2001
From: BAND_OF_GYPSYS
Yep, I am going to enter the race with the dune buggy that was used in "Eegah". My assistant will be Professor Bobo. Say hi to everyone Bobo.
Bobo: "I need a tick bath!"
B.O.G.: $#%!&^&!
#153
I already said no one would care
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Mistyboy
But I figured that as long as I was here, I might as well say SOMETHING about MST3K.
And I would like to stop, but denby won't! Robert Denby, leave me alone!
Misty
Aadjka!
#154
Thank you, PM
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Mistyboy
I didn't know about the Wacky Races, and I guess they just didn't SOUND very MST3K-related. Sorry I said to shut up.
Misty
#155
Thank you, PM
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Mistyboy
I didn't know about the Wacky Races, and I guess they just didn't SOUND very MST3K-related. Sorry I said to shut up.
Misty
Aadjka!
#156
Wacky race? Neat!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: MickeyTheGardener
Can I play? Or are you all big shots, newbie can't have a car? Well, I'll fix you, I'll fix you all go...Oh sorry, there I go assuming stuff again. Hey, I'll be someone's evil sidekick if you don't want me on the road. And I play dirty.
TV's Mickey
#157
Favorite Host Seg Songs
Date: 08/30/2001
From: h_wood
I just sent off a reply to Method_53's article about Frank Coniffs Birthday called "Let me be Frank about Frank", and it really got me thinking. I'd have to say that that song is about my favorite original or parody song ever featured in an MST3K episode. The melody & lyrics are pretty good, even though the Brains are trying to make fun of shlocky pop ballads. I guess I also thought it was really nice the way they dedicated it to Frank Zappa at the end too. (MST3K: A show with heart.) I was wondering if anyone else had a favorite song they'd like to mention!
h_wood
"Happiness, Sweet Love, & Frank"
#158
Come join the gang, Mickey!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: BAND_OF_GYPSYS
All you have to do is drive a vehicle that's inspired from a MST3K episode. For example, I'm driving the dune buggy that Arch Hall Jr. drove in "Eegah". BTW, playing dirty is perfectly acceptable in these races!
Favorite host segment song: "Terror from the Year 5000's" "When I Held Your Brain in My Arms".
#159
A race! That sounds fun!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: motherofallcombovers
I'll play as much as I can but no promises.
I think I'll take the bus, as in the bus from Soultaker. I would take the car but it was crashed so I'll take the bus with the nuns. I will race, in a bus, taking nuns home.... yeah, I'm sure to win!
#160
Hi, I'm No_Springs. Who's on the line?
Date: 08/30/2001
From: No_Springs
My MST contribution: a riff.
That's right, a riff. How original, I'm sure.
My riff: Say buddy - do farts have lumps? (Horror of Party Beach)
Okay, now back to your fun.
NS (bwoop bwoop)
PS - hey, this post is almost off the page. no one may make a new post until rimmer reaches her goal of 10,000 replies, or whatever it was.
#161
Mistyboy, let it go already.
Date: 08/30/2001
From: reubair
Let it go! Let it go! Let it go!
And now for something completely different, I need to decide what my ride will be for the race. I need something that will pick up chicks. I need something FAST! I need... I need... I need the van from Hobgoblins! Daphne will be my co-pilot and we are both well skilled in defending ourselves with garden tools. We are one with our garden tools. I'm a rake and she's a ho(e).
reubair/reburial
#162
Daphne as your sidekick?
Date: 08/30/2001
From: BAND_OF_GYPSYS
Good idea. In that case I'm going to drop off Professor Bobo and replace him with Lucinda from "The Touch of Satan". She may be over 120 years old but she's great with a pitchfork! Attention all racers, Lucinda has used her pitchfork on your tires! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!
#163
"What about my tick bath?" (nt)
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Bobo67
_
#164
I'll do my part! I'll add to this post!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: ChianaPet
Don't ever let it be said that Farscaper can't extend her hand to a MiSTie! And I've seen your show so I can add something to your discussion.
It Lives By Night was a horrible movie and it deserved to be on MST3K. My favorite riff was about the dead, smelly, naked bum.
I may even come back to see the race. It sounds like fun. I don't think the Farscape board could ever put something as fun together.
#165
Okay, here's the sign-up!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Schmoe_n_wurwolf
First, a little history, for those of you who don't know what the Wacky Races are. One day, Schmoe and I were talking on the phone about Godzilla vs. Megalon and the goofy little dolphin water toy. We were like, the hell?! Then we were talking about Rex Dart (Eskimo spy)'s orange car and the teeny tiny motorcycle the kid rides around on. We were laughing about all of these vehicles, and the conversation turned to the fact that there are a lot of strange vehicles in MSTory. We thought it would be neat to have some sort of race here on the board, and make the last reply of a certain date the winner. And so the Wacky Races was born. The race was a lot of fun! Everyone had a great time.
So, we thought it would be neat to do it again. Glad to hear so many people are up for it!
The game is simple:
1. Pick a vehicle for yourself. This can be anything that anyone ever rode on, drove, flew or strapped on in any MST ep. Hint: find one for which you will have a good storyline. Lita's spidey was a hoot!
2. Register a handle for you and your vehicle. This is optional. You can use your regular handle if you want, but it's fun to have a Wacky Races handle. Last year I was AngelsVanODeath.
3. Reply here when you pick your vehicle and/or get your handle! That way, you will have official first dibs on your vehicle.
4. We're starting here tomorrow at midnight. Sorry, Pfaharoaahaof and bobdenby, you won't get to reply until Tuesday. :o( Sucks to be you. The race begins at midnight tomorrow! (Or 12:00 a.m., Saturday, September 1, if you insist on being anal.)
5. Careen around in your vehicle, and do whatever it takes to win! Knock each other off the road! Stuff everyone up your butt (Lita, I'm looking at you). Throw out thumbtacks and giggle in the bushes. Use secret weapons. Whatever! Be ruthless! As we said in the original post, think Cannonball Run!
6. The rules are a little different this time for the winner. Last year, the winner was the last person to reply on a certain date. This year, we thought it would be better to have the winner be the person who replies *FIRST* on a certain date, the date being September 8. Again, sorry, Fpfahrablrahoal and bobdenby. Get a home computer already! >:ož
Here is a list of vehicles. This is by no means the definitive list. Feel free to choose anything from this list, or get a vehicle of your own! And be a good sport, don't pick one that someone else has already taken.
Space Chief's car
Japanese dolphin water toy from Godzilla vs. Megalon
Rex Dart's orange car from Godzilla vs. Megalon
The little kid's motorcycle from Godzilla vs. Megalon
Goofy cars from The Deadly Bees
The dune buggy from Gold Boot Girl
Arch Hall Jr's dune buggy from Eegah!
The car that breaks down in Manos, The Hands of Fate
Adam Chance's car in Agent for H.A.R.M.
The really cool car from The Screaming Skull. You know, the one that has side-opening doors
Floor waxers from Space Mutiny
The plane from Time Travelers
Paul's bike from Track of the Moon Beast
The ambulance from It Lives By Night
The worm truck from Squirm
Diabolik's car
Pigsled from Jack Frost
Big rig from Riding With Death
Sinbad's boat
The Spider from The Giant Spider Invasion. Vrooom vroom!
Herc's chariot
A bike from Parts: The Clonus Horror
Satan's Maverick from Touch of Satan
The hang glider from Cavedwellers
Horses from Last of the Wild Horses and Gunslinger
Swamp boats from Swamp Diamonds and Revenge of the Creature
Bread trucks from War of the Colossal Beast
Petey the Plane from Skydivers
Motorcycles from Sidehackers
Jets from San Francisco International and Starfighters
Hot rods from The Giant Gila Monster
Commander Cody's jetpack
Choose wisely!
Schmoe is going to be using Joe Don Baker's BIG BLUE FORD, the BIG car for BIG manly men!
wurwolf will be using the Angels' Van of Death again! Oh yeah! Sistahs are doin' it for themselves!
Okay, everyone, let's get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#166
Oh hell!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: wurwolf
I hit the reply button before I could put in Schmoe's tagline. Here you go, since you're all dying for it!
All I wanted was to sing the saddest songs.
Schmoe
And if you would sing along, I will be happier.
fw!!
There we go! :o)
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#167
This year's models!!1
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Schmoe_n_wurwolf
Here's some more choices for you, won't you? Add these to the list of vehicles.
Samson's silver sportscar from Samson Vs The Vampire Women
Any of the dragsters from Girls Town. Mel Torme optional.
The nuns' big station wagon from Girls Town.
TV's Frank with an engine grafted onto him by Dr Forrester (that's wurwolf's favorite new vehicle of the bunch)
Timothy Van Patten's van from Master Ninja I and II.
The boats from Viking Women Vs the Sea Serpent. Just add wheels!
The big flying headquarters for Mighty Jack.
The Truck Farmers.
The van from LaserBlast!
And there's plenty of other eps for you to choose from and create your own vehicles! Go nuts!
fw!!
fs!!
#168
Sticking with what works.
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Lita_n_Spidey
Yep. I'm keeping Spidey, my Giant Spider Invasion Giant Spider Car. Anybody surprised?
Hey, if I picked a new car, Spidey's feelings might get hurt. You do *not* want to hurt Spidey's feelings!
Lita
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
#169
Here we are! Shining our love!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: AngelsVanODeath
And we have additional sex for you also!
Whoohoo!!! I am soooooo gonna kick ass!!! YEAH! Look out Lita & Spidey, you're goin' DOWN!!!
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#170
No shortage of gas here!
Date: 08/30/2001
From: Schmoe_Don_Baker
Not in my big honking 70s Generic Big Car! All you turkeys better watch out! I'm gonna slow chase the hell out of you!!
Eat my dust while I eat my sammich
#171
Makin' It Official
Date: 08/30/2001
From: h_wood
As I stated before, since I'll be getting a late start on the Wacky Race, I'm choosing a vehicle slow enough to guarantee I'm coming in dead last- all 3 tons and 5 mph of pure manly Megaweapon! Sorry if this seems repetitive, but I didn't want my selection to get lost up there in the previous replies. Race handle & tech specs will be forthcoming if I can think of anything clever enough to post. If not, I'll see you all when I get back on Monday! Good luck, and good racing!
h_wood
"Megaweapon, megaweapon, megaweapon!"
#172
Evil sidekick? What was I thinking?
Date: 08/30/2001
From: MickeyTheGardener
I'm not evil, I'm just misunderstood. Time to go rotate the hostages.
I'm taking one of those armored cars from the beginning of "Diabolik". Why? Well those suckers aren't the fastest things by a longshot, but I get a police escort (and you better BELIEVE he'll be corrupt!) and some room in the back to store my stuff. You know, ev..I mean, misunderstood plans.
Armored Mickey
#173
<Lita is bent over the kitchen sink>
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Carmelita9000
<Evil Mike is washing whipped cream and cherry juice out of her hair. Lita is taking this important opportunity to lecture Evil Mike on the benefits of not allowing angry people to enter the house and exact revenge. EM, for the moment, is mostly concerned that Lita doesn't smack him with any blunt objects. Or even any sharp objects, for that matter.>
Lita: ...so you see, EM, you just shouldn't have even let PM through the door, let alone disguise himself as you. In fact, as soon as he started trying to convince you to betray me, you should have stopped listening. Now I don't trust you anymore. Trust is a valuable thing, you know.
EM: Sure, trust is valuable and stuff, but he gave me 20 bucks.
Lita: I think my trust is worth more than 20 bucks.
EM: Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks. I can't by that Jay and Silent Bob soundtrack with your trust. And it's not like you pay me all that much.
Lita: I don't pay you at all! <Lita gets her head out of the sink, and wraps her hair in a towel.> Do you have a problem with that, by any chance?
EM: Uh.... No! Of course not! You're right of course, I was an idiot to even talk to him... or something.
Lita: I'm glad we see eye to eye on this. Of course, now you'll have to search the place and make sure he didn't leave anything weird lying around.
EM: What do you mean?
Lita: You know Pfharafaf, he's got all these gadgets. He might have left something here to turn us all into parakeets. Or send us into an alternate dimension full of Rosie O'Donnels. We might wake up tomorrow with our arms and legs reversed!
EM: Or maybe like a Carrot Top Appreciation Device.
Lita: Yes! Like a... Carrot Top Appreciation Device?
EM: Yeah. Might that be what you're looking out for?
Lita: Sure. What exactly brought that to your mind?
EM: Oh, I picked his pocket on his way out, and he happened to be carrying one. Not to mention this card that shows that he belongs to the Burger King Kid's Club. Oh, and he's bought 12 pairs of underwear at Penny's, and now we can get a pair free. And he's got 50 dollars. Well, he had 50 dollars.
Lita: <looking at the gizmo EM handed her> How do you know this is a Carrot Top Appreciation Device?
EM: I tried it out on a couple of random Lita clones that were running around here. And then I tried it out on a couple of your secret Bono clones, just to make sure.
Lita: Or, at least you would have, if I *had* any secret Bono clones.
EM: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, they all suddenly had the urge to watch AT&T commercials and rent that one Carrot Top movie. It was frightening.
Lita: Now here's something we can use! Good job EM. Just make sure this thing doesn't have any other functions we don't know about, and we can really have fun with this!
EM: Glad you're not still mad at me!
Lita: Oh, I'm still mad at you. As soon as you're done looking this place over for any more gifts from Phalalalala, you're cleaning up that mess he made outside, then you're cleaning out Spidey's pen. Give Spidey a tuneup while you're out there. We gotta race him pretty quick.
<EM leaves, grumbling all the way.>
Lita: Carrot Top fans are truly happy, but do you want to trade brains with one?
Lita
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
#174
Cluck.... cluck.... cluck.... cluck!!!!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Chicken_of_Tomorrow
I'm using the awesome driver-less truck from the short "Chicken of Tomorrow" (From ep #702 "Brute Man")...
heh heh...just wait till you see what I can do with those eggs......
*cackles maniacally*
Gilezdranel
#175
/a stops at a Wendy's drive thru...
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Schmoe_Don_Baker
I'm gonna need to load up on carbs if I'm to win this race. Lots and lots of carbs. Get that Frank Thomas here pronto! And I mean stat!!
Schmoe Don's going to lunch!! And you can bet it'll be supersized!
#176
This will be my car!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: RimseysDeadlyBeeCar
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
#177
While I'm here....
Date: 08/31/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I have an assignment for you all! I want to reach reply #200 by midnight, before the race.
Remember, all replies MST related and NO SPAMMING!!!! I think you all can be courteous of my request and restrain yourselves from spamming. Thank you.
#178
Hey wulfie... I'm back!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: MalcolmFrink
Did you miss me, baby? Come one, give me a kiss. Sorry if my tongue gets in the way. >:-P
I will be driving the electrician's truck from Devilfish.
#179
Oh crap! It's you again!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: AngelsVanODeath
Get away from me, you creepy thing! You're getting in the way of me shining my love! I do NOT have additional sex for you also! >:o(
Where's Alan Hale Jr. when you need him?!
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#180
o/` Ahm on th' Aaaaairrrrrrrr!!! o/`
Date: 08/31/2001
From: PMs_Big_Rig
Whooooo -hooooo -eeeeeeeeee!!!!
Are you ready to rumble, racefans?
I'm bringin' my souped up hot-rod big rig tractor trailer! That's right, I poured soup all OVER my rig! It took me hours to clean it up afterward, but I wanted it to be totally ready for this race! And since my rig is a super-cab, I'm bringin' my buddies Lazy Rider and Buffalo Bill! We're gonna be the hard drivin', hard drinkin', hard fightin' race team!
And don't worry, wulfie, I've got I-net access at home; I'm just usually too busy to use it. I'm gonna make an effort to get on at least once this weekend, though!
Oh, and Lita... Buffalo's not big on *spiders*, so you better watch it!!!
[Buffalo] That's raht. I don't lahk spahders-n-snaykes!
[Sam] Easy, Buffalo. Take it easy!
[Buffalo] Stand back, Lazy Rider! These here fists are puuure dahnamyte!
[PM and Sam] Oh, SHUT UP!
TmPM
Sarcophagus!
Sam Casey
Stay Mellow, Baby!
Buffalo
WHOOOOOOOOO- WHEEEEEEE!!!!
#181
Come on, wulf-honey....
Date: 08/31/2001
From: MalcolmFrink
Gimme just a little sex! You know you want it. No need to be afraid of my manliness. And look, I have new dolphins, Sukkh and Manbubes. Okay, I didn't name them but I think Manbubes has a thing for you.....
#182
Back at PM's garage...
Date: 08/31/2001
From: PharaohMobius
[PM is working tirelessly on his rig, striving to make it the best damn big rig on the road. Sam Casey and Buffalo are drinking beers and watching him work (in other words, being typical armchair mechanics).]
[Sam] Better double check your air brakes, Pharaoh-baby. You never know when some saboteur is going to cut your brake lines for ya.
[PM] Don't worry, Sam. You see, unlike the air-brakes you had on your rig, mine lock *on* when they lose air pressure. You know, like air brakes are *supposed* to do?
[Sam] Don't blame me, man. Blame Steven Botchko; he wrote the script.
[PM] Ya got me there.
[Buffalo] Yeahman, it'slikemydaddyalwayssaid, y'knowthatwhenthediggity durnthang'snotbroke, thendon'tfixit,man.
[PM] Uh, Buffalo, I think it's time for your Anti-Boomhauer medicine again.
[Nabut enters, carrying a navy blue wallet with a gold "PM" printed on it.]
[Nabut] My liege, one of our shocktrooper patrols found this in a trashcan at a Carl's Junior in California.
[PM pats his pockets, and starts with a shock.] My wallet! Where-- How-- Evil Mike! Damn him! He swiped my wallet! *And* my CTAD-900! Double damn!
[Sam] Bummer, man. What all did he get from you?
[PM goes through empty wallet.] Everything. My J.C. Penney underwear coupon, my Burger King Kid's Club membership card, and that counterfeit fifty dollar bill I kept as a souvenir of my victory of Doc Clever.
[Buffalo] What does a fake fi'ty have to do with a crime-fightin', globe-trottin' guvermint agent lahk Doc Clever?
[PM] Oh, he had made up a batch of counterfeit money that he used as bait for a trap he had set for me. The money was all drenched with hallucinogenic pheremones that were designed to turn whoever comes into contact with them into a turtle-neck wearing, Yanni-loving, pacifist poofter! He wanted to turn me into a mewling milquetoast so that he could capture me alive. Little did he know that I spent a great deal of time in my youth developing an immunity to hallucinogenic compounds.
[Nabut] The way Dr. Forrester put it, you hung around the dorm all the time getting high.
[PM] That's not the point! The point is, it gave me an immunity to any and all hallucinogens! And besides, he did it too! He was my contact, for Ra's sake!
[Sam] Say, do you still have his number, Lazy Rider? I'm lookin' to score a stash, if ya know what I mean...
TmPM
Sarcophagus!
#183
WEEEEEEEE!!!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: BAND_OF_GYPSYS
My "Eegah" dune buggy is all set. Lucinda & I are ready to open up a can of good old WHOOP ASS!!!!
#184
Er, forget that.
Date: 08/31/2001
From: BAND_OF_GYPSYS
The dune buggy is taken. I want the van from "Laserblast"! It's big enough to hold both Lucinda & Bobo!
#185
The denby Special (Spaceshuttle)
Date: 08/31/2001
From: bobdenby
Except Donald Pleasance when he is riding his pleasance-mobile.
But as usual,I won't be around here till Tuesday after labor day, so its a damn shame that I won't be able to unveil the car I had been working on for months, "The denby
Special" also pronounced "The denby Spaceshuttle" by certain species of rodentia.
I have already retro-fitted it with a warp drive core as well as a sub-space array, in case we encounter any anomalies in the space/time continuum.
My first officer and engineer
is the lovely 'Seven Of Nine'.
She is also in charge of harassing me.(Bring it on, Borg baby!)
Also I will be employing a Hairy girl named Kim as my weapons officer.
My original weapons officer was Warf, however he is unable to appear due to a scheduling conflict.(He is competing in the annual Klingon Bat-Lef tournament).
But all that is for nought, since I won't be around for the race.
I guess I will have to wait for the next one.
The Elusive Robert Denby
Pumping Buffalo?!!!
#186
sorry for making no sense....
Date: 08/31/2001
From: bobdenby
I had originally typed my last reply title as
"Nobody says Weeeeeeee!"
so that would explain my opening line in the last reply.(concerning Donald Pleasance)-
But I then changed it to "denby Special"
but forgot to take out the first coinciding line in the reply body.
Man I need a vaccination!
Wait! I mean a Vacation!
Okay I'll take one of each, thank you.
The Elusive Robert Denby
Sue Ann put me in this, Mare
#187
The van is ready!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: BAND_OF_GYPSYS
But man did I have a hard time getting here! I was pulled over by deputies who looked like Hank Williams Jr. After that I made a stop in the desert where I found this cool looking laser. However, shortly after I found it I was pursued by aliens that looked like shelless turtles! I think I shook them off. I just hope that they don't show up durring the race!
#188
<Back at home...
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Carmelita9000
...Lita is watching The Price is Right.>
Lita: No! No! Guess one dollar! All these other fools overbid! One dollar! One dollar! Gaaaah! You moron! You deserve not to win! ... oh, hi EM. Where have you been?
EM: Oh, I just suddenly had this urge to go shopping! So I just took that money we got from PM, and I went by the Factory Outlets and bought all kinds of...
Lita: Evil Mike, what the hell are you wearing?
EM: You mean this turtleneck?
Lita: Yes! You never wear turtlenecks! Why are you wearing a turtleneck? (Let's not even discuss the color...)
EM: Well... I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time! I guess... just... my neck got cold?
Lita: We're in California in August. It's freaking 106 degrees outside. Aren't you hot?
EM: Look, hon. There's just no excuse for bad style. Now, let's talk about you for a moment. Just look at what you're wearing. You slept in that last night, didn't you.
Lita: Uh... yeah. I just got up, like an hour ago.
EM: That's no excuse. You're wearing your PE uniform from when you were in jr. high. That's just pitiful, dear. You're in college. I'd think you'd have gotten around to buying some new pajamas by now.
Lita: Pajamas?
EM: Yes! I bought you this nice matching set of pink pajamas. They're flannel, so you won't get cold at night! Isn't it just the cutest thing? Look! There's a little pink bow here, and look at this cute little kitten embroidered into the breast pocket. Isn't it just--
Lita: Mike! What the hell is wrong with you?
EM: And just wait until you see the improvements I made on Spidey!
Lita: Oh... this can't be good...
<Evil Mike takes Lita's arm and escorts her out to Spidey's pen. Spidey, looking somewhat uncomfortable, is wearing a large blue turtleneck sweater. It must be itchy, because he keeps scratching under it. Lita's mouth drops open.>
EM: What do you think?
Lita: Wha... How... Why... Where did you even manage to buy a car-sized turtleneck with enough arm-holes for four of his eight legs?!
EM: Oh, well as you can imagine, they don't sell sweaters like that. Especially not during the hottest time of the year! So I had to knit this for him myself.
Lita: You knitted...
EM: Yes! I'll make you one if you want! Isn't Spidey lovely?
Lita: Spidey isn't supposed to be lovely. He's supposed to be terrifying. He's supposed to strike fear into the hearts of all who see him! They won't be much afraid if they're too busy laughing at him!
EM: I've been meaning to talk about that. Do you suppose it's necessary to scare everybody? It's just not nice.
Lita: Of course it's necessary! What the hell is your deal? I can't even open the door with that sweater in the way! I suppose I could use the rear entrance...
EM: I thought that was gross, so I sealed it up.
Lita: Mike!!! That was very bad! Go to your room and think about what you've done! And while you're there, I want you to watch some Evil Dead movies. Read some of those magazines I know you have under your bed. I'll kick your ass later.
EM: Such language is not becoming on a young lady!
Lita: Move it, Mister! And take off that turtleneck! I never want to see you in a turtleneck again!
<Evil Mike marches away, grumbling. Lita pulls out her tool box, and some gardening shears.>
Lita: Now I gotta get this shirt off my spider and repair him all by myself. Shoulda known to watch out for PM and his dirty money. I wonder who all's handled that 50 by now. Money really gets around...
Lita
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
#189
The registration...
Date: 08/31/2001
From: ArmoredMickey
(Mickey approaches the desk where a pretty young lady sits filing names and records)
Registration lady: Name?
Mickey: Mickey
RL: I meant the car.
Mickey: Oh, it's the Big Misunderstood Sex Machine (aka "The armored car from the beginnig of Diabolik)
RL: How'd it get that name?
Mickey: Well, it's father's name was Big Understood Sex Machine aka the Armored Car from the beginning of Diabolik, and his father's name was Big Mis...
RL: Okay, I get it. Age?
Mickey: Uh, I dunno. When was Diabolik made? Let's see...
RL: I meant you.
Mickey: Well that's confusing. 24, no wait, 22? Anyway, none of your damn buisness.
RL: Well, it says here you requested an escort.
Mickey: Hell yeah!!! Bring her out!!!
RL: You're POLICE escort.
Mickey: Oh. Well is it a policewoman?
RL: No. It's not even a policeman. Mickey, say hello to Officer Ortega.
Mickey: WHAT?!
Ortega: Errrnnnn....
RL: Bye now, have a good day. (Runs)
Mickey: Wait, that was someone in disgui...come to think of it, there is no registration desk. WHO ARE YOU???
(To be continued)
Cliffhanging Mickey
#190
Nice! Evil Dead movies rule!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Schmoe_Don_Baker
Gimme some sugar, baby! Preferably in the form of chocolate bars. Mmmmmm...I like how the chocolate gets all warm and mushy in my pockets. Damnit, now I'm starving!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish my pre-race meal. And after that it's my pre-dinner meal. And then my post-pre-dinner meal. And then dinner. Followed by a light snack. Cause I'm growing boy!
#191
VROOOM!!!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: B_O_G_Laserblast_Van
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
#192
A giant hot dog?!!!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: ZekeThePlumber
No! It's the "Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile"! You will be hipnotized by its delicious, juicy, hot doggy-ness! Then you will run off the road and into a styrfoam deer placed their by yours truly!
#193
Now where is Vegita_Vampire when you
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Nydia
need him? He entertained us greatly by jiggling for us. I even turned the hose on him and that boy jiggled beautifully! Damn!
I will be taking up my old vehicle, the firetruck that Gumby's dad, Gumbo, drove in the short Robot Rumpus.
#194
I have a question for SchmoeandWurwolf.
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Skreaming_Warlock
I realize this is all RPG but I'd like to know, is the road like a race track or is more cross country? Cross country would be cool! We could have all kinds of different perils in the road.
I will take the never ending roller coaster from "The Incredibly Strange Creatures....". I've modified the track so it will follow the road we are racing on.
#195
I'm finally here to sign up!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: GrampsiesPruneBuggy
Me and Raisin, my prune colored muscle car from Hobgoblins, are going to win! That's my strategy! Winning! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I even made the horn play Dixie like on the Dukes Of Hazzard! That should teach that city slicker Pharhafaoah to stop making Missouri seem hickier than Alabama!
Sorry for the delay!
magrandpa?
grandmapa!, sch.
The Elderly Gender-Bender!
8:17 P.M. CST!
#196
I want to be a Del-Aires groupie.
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Yalu
I'm jumping on the Del-Aires tour bus! The boys and I are gonna Zombie stomp ya'll into the ground!
#197
Mickey: Alright, Ortega...
Date: 08/31/2001
From: ArmoredMickey
looks like I'm stuck with you, so it's time for you to start earning your keep.
Officer Ortega: Errrrrnnn!
Mickey: That's right, earn. Very good, Orteggy. Now what's my grandfather resting in?
OO: Errrrrrnnnnn!!!!
(Mickey cheers and rewards OO with a bucket of fish guts)
Mickey: Now that's the Big Misunderstood Sex Machine, aka the armored car from the beginning of Diabolik. That is what we will win with. Can you say that?
OO: Errrnnnn? Errrrrrrnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(OO faints)
Mickey: Oh, I should've never ended a sentence with 5 straight W words. Curse you, whoever did this. I will find you. No matter who you are, me and my whatever the hell he is will track you down. Whoever, whatever, whenever, where...(Mickey faints)
(To be continued
#198
This is cross country...
Date: 08/31/2001
From: Schmoe_n_wurwolf
Actually we never really made a determination about location. We just let the replies dictate the surroundings. It's all to you guys really.
fw!!
fs!!
#199
Um.... Zeke, honey?
Date: 08/31/2001
From: wurwolf
The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile, to my knowledge, never made an appearance in a MSTed movie. You must choose a vehicle from a MSTed movie, 'kay? See the above list if you need some help, and don't pick one that someone else has already picked.
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#200
I'm late but I'm here!
Date: 08/31/2001
From: manosgirl
Dang computer's just getting over a virus %@$#*%$!!! Has anyone decided to use the ol' Sodium Mobile? If not, I'm off! Vvvvrrrrrooooommm! Ssssoooooddddiiiuuumm!!!
manosgirl
"I knooooow!"
fsm...
Wacky Races 2: Electric Boogaloo
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